Smugglers, Barflies, and Home Improvement Projects Gone Wrong — All the Chaos From EPCOT's Tiny Train Town This Week

The shenanigans are a’brewing again, folks.

OH NO!

The Tiny Train Town in EPCOT’s Germany Pavilion is full of mischief, and I’m on the job — sharing photos and stories from the town’s gossip train (pun intended). Today, Madam Mayor (that’s me!) is back with another update with everything that’s going on in the itty bitty city. And yes, it’s scandalous as usual.

First of all, a new citizen has arrived in the Tiny Train Town, and I DO NOT trust him. He’s a self-proclaimed Mad Scientist (seriously, who actually refers to themself as “mad?”) and has worn these weird white goggles and matching lab coat every single day. Plus, he has a missing hand. What happened to the hand? Did he perform experiments on it? Did he chop it off in a fit of mad rage? DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW?!

What’s going on here?!

Next, as Madam Mayor, I must throw out a note of caution about performing home improvement projects without a permit. Recently, one of our residents was attempting to paint his house, built an automatic paint stirring machine with no prior experience, and subsequently splattered a large can of paint all over himself, his house, and the surrounding foliage. Everything now has a speckled white, artsy look to it. Clearly, this man has never watched the Carousel of Progress — at least he didn’t destroy the rumpus room.

I don’t trust this man to fix anything

Speaking of cautionary tales, some of our older residents attempted to “drink around the world” in EPCOT this weekend. Guys, this is NOT an advisable activity when you’re three inches tall and have the alcohol tolerance of a chipmunk. If I have to send out one more cleanup crew for vomit in public, I’m going to put everyone in this town on house arrest!

Poor dude

Finally, I recently busted up an illegal farmer’s market in front of the pharmacist’s house (remember that guy — he was trying to run an illegal restaurant last year?). All of the goods were stolen from warehouses without being paid for, and the FBI showed up to track him down. The goods have been returned, and sadly, these two folks who showed up to shop did not get their money back.

These two are plotting something

That’s a wrap on this week’s chaos. Stay tuned to DFB for more nonsense — subscribe to our newsletter!

* The anarchy within is mostly created by natural occurrences, like giant squirrels, wind, rain, and relatively godzilla-sized lizards who frequent the town; but we find it fun and entertaining to make up fictional stories about what COULD be happening. We are grateful to the folks who create and maintain this Tiny Train Town for Disney World, as it’s one of our favorite parts of EPCOT and always has been.

See Another Tiny Train Town Update Here!

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