Elvis Went to EPCOT’s Tiny Train Town This Week. (Yes, You Read That Right)

‘Round these parts, there’s a village of mischief and nonsense that we have to keep in line!

What’s going on within these hallowed walls?

Yes siree I’m talking about the Tiny Train Town in the Germany Pavilion at EPCOT. This itty bitty city has been filled with crime for years, and we visit it often to keep tabs on its happenings. As the mayor, it’s my job to report those findings back to you guys!

Our first stop is the town’s premier wedding chapel, where a police officer has arrived on scene. One of the weddings last weekend got a bit too rowdy and they had to shut down the party. Seriously guys, why did you think the combination of an Elvis impersonator, live peacocks, and free shots of Fireball was a GOOD idea?!

The wedding chapel!

All the trains seemed to be in working order during this visit, but there was a more sinister problem lurking at one of the depots. There was an IMPOSTOR among the conductors! The man pictured below had knocked the regular conductor out cold, hid his body in a cabin in the woods, and stolen the uniform. He’d been working this depot all alone for a week, and no one had noticed. We’re getting to the bottom of whatever he was plotting, but we have a feeling it has to do with the town’s underground peacock smuggling ring. (Unrelated to the wedding peacocks, those are owned legally by the people who run the wedding chapel.)

Hmmm…

I caught up with the group of retired men who play in the local chess club. We rallied for a while to get them a chess board, then the town started an entire club for them. Now, they claim that chess has gone “too commercial” and they’re debating taking up Mahjong instead. Who’s going to tell them that Mahjong is trendy now? Nose goes!

Hey guys!

Last but not least, there’s a property for sale if you’d like to move to the Tiny Train Town! It’s an old gas station off the rail line. It may give off horror movie murder location vibes, but I promise…it’s just as bare and scary on the inside. Yeah, there’s really no redeeming this one. I think it’s going to be on the market for a while — that poor real estate agent. He just stands outside holding a sign like a guy advertising a car wash.

Gotta keep an eye out!

That’s a wrap on this visit’s updates, but we’ll keep you in the loop with more shenanigans as they ensue. Subscribe to our newsletter for the latest!

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